He's Back
by xthinkxhappyxthoughtsx
Summary: Legolas and Aragorn are on their way to Lothlorien when they meet someone they hoped they would never see again, and Kaldur is just as annoying as ever.
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer I do not own any characters in the story.  
  
Author Nenya  
  
Spoilers None that in know of  
  
Summary While travelling to Lorien, Legolas and Aragorn meet up with someone they hoped to never see again, and Kaldur is as annoying as ever.  
  
Email M.Bentall2k@INVICTA.kent.sch.uk  
  
Rating PG, slight violence  
  
A/N: As I mentioned in the summary this story may not make sense to some people as Kaldur De Cahr is an OC from the marvellous mellon chronicles we should all bow down in wonder at the greatness of Cassia and Siobhan and their wonderful, marvellous, amazing, brilliant, magnificent, superb, excellent, outstanding, stupendous, dazzling, astounding, stunning, awesome, storytelling skills. I would also recommend that anyone who likes Aragorn and Legolas stories (non-slash) go onto this website, the address is aragorn-legolas.5u.com ok that's me done. Oh and if you just want to read the story with Kaldur in then its called The Curse Of Angmar.  
  
"Estel remind me again why we are going to this village, you know the villagers here don't like elves, you told me that last time we passed it"  
  
The two friends were on their way to Lothlorien with messages from Rivendell but an unfortunate orc attack had robbed them of their supplies and so they were now standing, on the edge of a village, debating whether or not they should go in.  
  
Strider smiled before replying patiently  
  
"Well we are at least three days from Laurelindórinan and unless you want to starve on the way, we need food"  
  
"Oh can't we just shoot something to eat, your cloak smells and I know I'm going to end up wearing it to hide my ears"  
  
"Well you can stay out here and catch something but I am going into that village"  
  
With that he broke into a jog as, reluctantly, Legolas followed him, quickly catching him up and when strider handed him his cloak he only muttered a few choice words in elvish before shrugging the cloak onto his graceful shoulders.  
  
"Sorry, didn't quick catch that, not sure I wanted to but oh wel..." he broke off, the puddle of mud that he had just been pushed into acted as an extremely efficient gag.  
  
Laughing Legolas ran ahead, stopping just outside the entrance of the village strider who surveyed him critically, then stepping back to avoid the blow that he knew would be coming, he said.  
  
"Excellent you would pass for a scummy human any day" sure enough Legolas struck out but Estel ducked easily and, laughing, he ran into the village followed by a grumbling elf. They soon found their way to the nearest inn and approached the bar.  
  
"What can I do for you gentlemen" the bartender said,  
  
"We need food supplies for two people, and give us two ales while we wait please"  
  
"The supplies will take a while I'm afraid but here are the ales"  
  
He handed them over and immediately went off to serve some customers on the other side of the bar who were clamouring loudly. For a few minutes they sat there in silence drinking their ale while Legolas looked round the bar disdainfully.  
  
"Legolas the bartenders calling me, stay here I'll be back in a minute,"  
  
"Yeah sure" Legolas was now staring moodily into his glass and hardly seemed to hear him. A minute later though a large hand clapped onto his shoulder and a gruff voice said  
  
"move it you, let someone else sit at the bar" Legolas looked up into the face of a gorilla like man with two others a lot like him standing behind, smiling to himself Legolas replied  
  
"no that's ok I'll stay here thanks" he turned back to the bar and was about to have another sip when a heavy blow hit him on the side of the head and he fell off his stool, looking quickly around to see where strider had gone, he leapt up to his feet and stood in fighting stance.  
  
He could not see him any where in the bar and guessed that the barman had taken strider to the kitchens to decide on food. As the foremost man attempted another blow, Legolas caught his hand halfway through the punch and pushed backwards into his friends. Sadly Legolas didn't realise that the blow had knocked his hood off and all the bar went silent before the first man yelled  
  
"He's an elf get him" at once the three men were fighting Legolas, who, rather than hurt someone was just trying to block and dodge all their punches  
  
"Well fancy seeing you here mate, how are you doing leggy?" in surprise Legolas dodged a blow and whirled round to see who had spoke at the sight of the culprit he groaned.  
  
Standing in front of him was a small man with brown skin, very dark eyes and extremely messy braids. A person that he hoped he wouldn't have to see again. As he dodged another series of blow he answered.  
  
"In reply to your query Kaldur, bearing in mind that I am presently involved in a conflict with three gorillas how do you think I am? and please don't call me leggy because I will be forced to shoot you."  
  
Grinning insanely the bandit replied  
  
"its just like old times, you threatening to shoot me, and I see you still haven't given up on the long words, what a mouthful that last sentence was, but point taken, follow me."  
  
Grabbing Legolas he dragged him through a door to the side of the bar, and after locking it he turned to face Legolas, his trademark grin still on his face.  
  
"What are you doing here Kaldur?"  
  
"Funny I was about to ask you the same thing leggy, it's been a while since I saw you"  
  
"Not long enough" muttered Legolas and turned around, the grin was getting on his nerves, but when he saw who was standing behind him though he span around again and waited.  
  
Standing behind him was a very grim looking strider, arms crossed his look was reminiscent of Elrond.  
  
"Ah see you haven't given up on that whole look thing" said Kaldur thoughtfully, pointing at striders face.  
  
"Legolas what happened, I leave you four five minutes and you get into a fight"  
  
"They started it"  
  
"I don't know Legolas; you were pretty rude" broke in Kaldur "you wouldn't like it if someone said you were as ugly as a troll"  
  
"You did what, Legolas I know you don't like this village but don't go round insulting the inhabitants"  
  
"I didn't, Kaldur made that up, all I did was not let a couple of men sit at the bar, then they found out I was an elf and then Kaldur dragged me to you."  
  
"Fine I believe you, anyway Kaldur it was nice seeing you again but we had better go"  
  
"Yes, about that, I decided I might stick around with you for a while, it'll be just like old times"  
  
"Oh you mean you almost get us killed several times, we end up tying you up and dragging you round the country while you drive us insane with your random nonsense"  
  
"You know leggy I think that's exactly what I meant"  
  
"In that case I think we'll pass on your company and if you call me that one more time I really will shoot you."  
  
"Temper, ok goodbye it was nice seeing you to." with that he walked away and strider and Legolas looked at each other before strider said.  
  
"We got rid of him quite easily"  
  
"Yes well I doubt that's the last we'll be seeing of Kaldur De Cahr" replied Legolas darkly  
  
"Your probably right we'd better go now to get a good head start"  
  
Not noticing the dark eyes following them as they left the village they continued their journey, now equipped with enough food to last them a while. 


	2. In which Kaldur drives the elves mad

Vikki Turner- Thanks for the review, glad you like it. Sorry I took a while for the next chapter, I started several other stories and had to put this one on hold, but here it is.  
  
Purplefluffychainsaw- Elanor you are insane. However I am glad you liked it. Yes I did ask permission to use Kaldur, though I got into a bit of trouble for not asking to use Ranien and Trelan but they didn't mind too much. More Kaldurness in this chapter, no Kurt though I'm afraid, I don't really think he could fit into a LOTR story though otherwise I would definitely include him just for you. Come to think of it though, I expect I could include him the falling into M.E fic.  
~~~~~~~~~~ The pair had been walking for about an hour now when Legolas looked up suddenly and said.  
  
"I wonder what Kaldur was doing in that village, knowing him I doubt it was anything good"  
  
The man stalking the duo snorted quietly at these words but then, remembering the hearing abilities of the two checked himself and stopped.  
  
"your right" mused Aragorn thoughtfully, "Oh well, when we let him go we knew that it was a risk so I suppose there is nothing we can do about it now."  
  
"His abilities at annoying me have improved, I was only around him for what, five minutes and I was already coming close to shooting him"  
  
"Yes" Aragorn replied, grinning "he always did have that affect on you elves, although Elrohir managed to ignore him quite effectively"  
  
Legolas raised his eyebrows in exasperation.  
  
"Strider, he didn't get annoyed because he couldn't hear him you idiot"  
  
"Oh yes, I forgot" Aragorn replied, grinning "well if that's the effect he had on Rivendell elves imagine what it would be Legolas like if we took him to Lothlorien, he would probably drive them insane in two minutes flat"  
  
"If they didn't shoot him first"  
  
The two started laughing at that and Kaldur, who had been listening intently paled slightly, maybe it wasn't a good idea to follow these two, then he shook his head, They wouldn't shoot me, he thought, I'm Kaldur De Cahr.  
  
That night they stopped in a hollow to make camp, and as they sat round the fire eating food the elf and human talked and laughed, recapping adventures, both with and without the bandit who was sitting in a tree, some hundred yards away, eating his own meagre meal and looking wistfully at the food supplies that the Aragorn had bought earlier that day.  
  
Oh well, he thought, he chose too follow the pair so it was his own fault if is meals weren't exactly up to scratch.  
  
As he bedded down for the night, hidden in a crevasse behind a rather uncomfortable boulder he wondered if it was worth it following these people. He decided it was, any chance he got to annoy people especially people who he knew wouldn't hurt him would b worth it, and Legolas in particular was a good person to annoy. He lay down for the night, alert even as he slept for the sound of his quarry leaving.  
  
Two days later they had reached the edge of the wood, Kaldur stared in wonder from his hiding place at the sight of the golden trees swaying and glinting in the breeze.  
  
Reaching up he picked a golden leaf and stared at eagerly before coming to the conclusion that sadly it wasn't real gold and morosely he dropped it to the forest floor.  
  
Following the elf and ranger cautiously he entered the woods, not sure what to expect from its inhabitants.  
  
Legolas looked around; waiting for the elves, whose footsteps his quick ears had just picked up, to arrive. Sure enough they reached the clearing around three minutes later, but they were not alone.  
  
Sauntering casually in the middle of the group, not seeming to care that he was tied up and captured, in all reality he probably didn't care, the fact that he was slightly on the insane side seemed to have that affect (effect?) on him quite often was Kaldur, grinning infuriatingly at the elves around him.  
  
Legolas was slightly amazed to see that at least half of them were already wearing the irate, I'm-about-to-explode-look that elves often got round Kaldur. It was one that Legolas was very familiar with having worn it himself for most of the adventure he had spent with Kaldur, and then he had seen it mirrored on all the Rivendell elves.  
  
"Kaldur" Legolas asked in surprise, while next to him Aragorn's jaw dropped.  
  
"Well, hello Legolas, fancy meeting you here, you see gents" he said turning to the elves, "I'm their friend so if you just wanted to let go of..." he trailed off at the glare from Haldir, he knew he should really be getting used to the elf glare, but if truth be told it was rather scary.  
  
"Legolas, you know this human?, you should know better than to bring an unknown human into Lothlorien" one of the elves looked at Legolas in surprise, both at the fact that he had brought a human uninvited into the forest, and that he was friends with such a maddening specimen of that race.  
  
"Haldir, Mae govannon Mellon Nin, yes unfortunately Strider and myself have had the pleasure of meeting this man, and believe me, we didn't bring him here, he must have followed us."  
  
"Legolas, I'm hurt, I wouldn't follow you when you specifically told me that I wasn't going with you. I must have accidentally gone the same way as you but..."  
  
"Kaldur, don't say another word, do you understand me, you will stand here, you wont say a word and you will let me and Strider sort out this mess, understand?"  
  
Kaldur's only reply was to mime zipping his lips shut and, sighing in exasperation, Legolas turned back to the other elves and Estel, concealing their conversation in elvish the two tried to sort out the mess.  
  
"Well a couple of months back Strider and I had a running with a band of thieves in the western lands near the barrow downs, Kaldur was the lead bandit."  
  
Kaldur smiled at the sound of his name, he had no idea whatsoever what they were going on about, but it was nice to be appreciated.  
  
"You mean to say he escaped from you" asked Haldir in surprise, he had never known Legolas to let anyone escape before, and although he didn't know Strider as well as the Mirkwood elf he could have sworn that Strider would not be that careless either."  
  
"No, he didn't escape, we let him go, don't ask" Legolas said hurriedly at the look of confusion on the elves face "I'll explain properly soon, in the meanwhile lets say any punishment that we would have given to him would have done more harm than good to him due to his past. Anyway, on our way here we met Kaldur in an inn and, despite us telling him not to follow us, he decided to anyway, so here is."  
  
"I see" said Haldir, though he still looked slightly confused. "I don't know what we're going to do about him then, I suppose the only thing to do is to take him to the lord and the lady of the wood"  
  
Legolas and Aragorn looked at each other before nodding slowly in agreement. It seemed to be the only option, they couldn't let him leave now he had past the borders, leastways not without the lord and lady's permission but the two friends were worried about the effect (affect? A/N ok could someone please explain in a review the difference between effect and affect cause otherwise I am going to have to keep doing one and putting the other in brackets.) that the human would have on the rulers of the wood.  
  
They thought that Galadriel could probably keep her temper in Kaldur's presence, after all, one summer when Legolas, Aragorn, and the twins had visited Lothlorien she had been left in a tree and almost caught by orcs, suspended in nets, and soaked with water. They were pretty sure therefore that she could handle one infuriating human.  
  
Lord Celeborn however was different matter. He was decidedly short tempered, and although both kind and wise, he was quick to lose his temper when anyone annoyed, played tricks or in any other way wound him up. There was nothing for it though and so the elves and the ranger turned back to where Kaldur had been standing, only he wasn't there any more.  
  
Groaning Legolas took of in a run in the direction that Kaldur's tracks led and he returned several minutes later dragging a grinning Kaldur behind him.  
  
"You know Legolas" Kaldur said, his grin wavering slightly "you wanna loosen up a bit on your grip, you kind of cutting off the circulation in my arm mate."  
  
"Oh" said Legolas, trying to sound surprised, but not doing a very good job "I didn't realise" Loosening his grip slightly Legolas led the human back to the group and Strider turned to the human.  
  
"Kaldur, we are going to take you to the leaders of this wood, however very few mortals can walk unhindered through these woods and so you will be blindfolded, and no" he said as the bandit looked like he was going to cut in "we wont be untying you, I know that if you run we can catch you very easily but frankly I doubt that any of us want the bother of chasing after you, understand?"  
  
"Yup, perfectly, so, where am I going anyway?"  
  
"To the heart of the wood, Caras Galadhon, the dwelling of the Lord Celeborn and the Lady Galadriel."  
  
"Galadriel, isn't she that witc... never mind" he finished hastily; the glares of the elves had intensified.  
  
"Kaldur" Legolas hissed in the mans ear. "Whatever you do, do not insult the Lady, is that understood."  
  
Nodding once more, Kaldur allowed Legolas to blindfold his eyes and the company finally moved off.  
  
"Are we there yet" asked Kaldur, when they had been walking for about half a hour.  
  
"No" replied one of the Lorien elves.  
  
"How bout now" he asked when five more minutes had passed.  
  
"No" replied another elf, gritting his teeth slightly in annoyance.  
  
"What about...ahhh" Kaldur cried out suddenly bringing his bound hands up to his ears and stopping for a second.  
  
"What is it Kaldur" asked Legolas quickly.  
  
"Nothin I just heard a voice in my head, which in itself isn't all that surprising as I quite often hear voices in my head. Very nice voices they are too, but this one was different, I've never heard this one before and it isn't saying the usual mumbo jumbo that my mind comes up with..."  
  
He trailed off yet again as he realised that the elves were probably staring at him in surprise. He couldn't see them of course, but his time in Rivendell had shown him that he often had that affect(effect?) on elves. He was quite pleased actually, winding people up had always been a favourite hobby of his, and it was something he was especially good at.  
  
"Don't worry Kaldur" said Strider grinning, "Your not insane, well actually you are insane, but this voice isn't more proof of your insanity, it is the lady of the wood, I got a bit of a shock the first time she spoke in my head as well. Probably more so than you as strange voices in my head don't seem to be as ordinary an occurrence as they are with you."  
  
"You know" Kaldur said thoughtfully "I'm no saying she is a witch or anything, but she does have extremely witch like tendencies for someone who isn't a sorceress."  
  
Kaldur was actually quite glad of the blindfold just then, he had a feeling that if he could see the faces of the Lorien elves he would probably be lying in a frazzled heap on the floor due to ten or so deadly elvish glares.  
  
He heard a soft laughing in his head, but this time he managed to refrain from exclaiming in surprise as he heard the voice of the lady.  
  
"So I am a witch am I Kaldur?" the voice said, "That is one thing I haven't been called to my knowledge before"  
  
"Ah" Kaldur replied out loud, ignoring the fact that everyone was probably staring at him yet again. "Maybe you ain't been called it in here, but in the villages nearby they often mention an enchanted forest in which lives an evil sorceress, although" he said thoughtfully, "you don't sound that evil to me, bit creepy with the whole talking in peoples head thing though, I can see where the witch stories come from"  
  
Again the tinkling laugh was heard in his ear and then he heard her voice no more, for the moment at least.  
  
All of a sudden he felt the blindfold being removed and, blinking suddenly as his eyes came into contact with the bright sun once more he saw Haldir standing in front of him, a slight frown marring his usually fair features.  
  
"The lady sends word to say that you need not be blindfolded" he said grudgingly "Apparently she trusts that you won't betray us...though I can't imagine why" he mumbled the last bit quietly to himself but Kaldur heard it anyway.  
  
"Hey, I heard that mate, you can't hide anything from me, I have the ears of a...a..." he seemed lost for a comparison for moment but as he stared round the clearing he grinned and said. "The ears of an elf, they just don't do the whole pointy thing, always liked the idea of having pointy ears personally but I suppose beggars can't be choosers, and I am particularly good looking, if I do say so..."  
  
"Kaldur, shut up, or I'll gag you with your blindfold since we have no further use for it."  
  
Once more Kaldur mimed zipping his lips and the company walked on once more, in temporarily blissful peace.  
  
Finally they reached the city, much to the relief of all the elves, Kaldur's silence hadn't really lasted long and all the elves had come very close to strangling the human. Aragorn had managed to refrain himself, he had never found Kaldur as annoying as the elves had so he had managed to survive the incessant chatter Kaldur had put up.  
  
As they passed through the gates Kaldur looked around himself in awe as he saw the shimmering buildings in the flets. He had thought Rivendell beautiful, but this gold and silver city took his breath away.  
  
(well that is about seven pages long so that'll have to do for this chapter, however I am moving on to the next chapter straight away now for several reasons, firstly I have lots of ideas, and secondly my brother is sitting in the living room, which I would have to go through in order to get to my room, and as he told me he was going to kill me one day, about an hour ago, I'm going to wait for a bit till he has decided that he is to young to murder someone. So basically, what I was getting at was that if I get enough reviews I will probably be able to put up the next chapter pretty quickly.) 


	3. In which lots of stuff happens but i can...

They had only been in the city for about five minutes when a female elf came running towards them, Kaldur stared at her in amazement. She was very beautiful, even as elves went. As she approached the group she slowed into a run and came to greet the newcomers.  
  
"Vedui Legolas" she called in her clear voice.  
  
"Vedui Arwen" he replied in the same tongue and after hugging the elf in welcome she turned to the Strider, and to his amazement Kaldur could have sworn that the pair of them coloured slightly as they greeted each other with a hug.  
  
A grin spread over his face as he realised that this two were what he would call an item. Finally he had something with which he could annoy Aragorn. It had always annoyed him to no end that the man had seemed impervious to Kaldur's attempts at driving him to insanity but finally the bandit seemed to have found something that he could use to his advantage.  
  
Leaning almost casually towards Legolas he whispered quietly  
  
"Who is she"  
  
Legolas replied just as quietly,  
  
"The daughter of Lord Elrond, and the sister of Elladan and Elrohir."  
  
Kaldur's mouth opened in surprise.  
  
"But aren't the twins Strider's brothers? Surely that would make her his sister, anyway whats she doing here if she is Elrond's daughter."  
  
"No Strider and Arwen aren't brother and sister, it's a bit too complicated to go into here, I'll tell you later, and Arwen stays here because the Lady Galadriel is her Grandmother."  
  
"Oh I see" Kaldur nodded, "Want I supposed to be meeting this Lady anyway" he questioned and Haldir, haring the comment led him to the largest Mallorn in the centre of the city.  
  
"This is the home of Galadriel and Celeborn, climb up to the top of the ladder and you will see them."  
  
"Yeah, well you may want to untie my hands first Haldir mate, it might be a bit difficulty to climb the ladder with them tied."  
  
Quickly complying the elf cut the rope that bound the bandit's hands and Kaldur started the long climb o the top, followed by Legolas an Aragorn, who still had the message to deliver, and Arwen who was still talking to Aragorn as they swapped news of the two elf realms.  
  
Finally Kaldur reached the top and climbing rather unsteadily onto the high flet he saw she who few mortals had looked upon. Sitting on chairs at the back of the flet sat two elves, both the same height but the man wore robes of silver and had hair of much the same tone and the women had golden hair and wore a white glittering dress. As the four climbed onto the flet the stood up and walked towards them. As the lady stood in front of the human she smiled at him and asked in her clear voice.  
  
"So we meet at last Kaldur De Cahr, and do I look like a witch to you?" she questioned.  
  
Kaldur surveyed her thoughtfully for a few moments, stroking his braided beard before replying.  
  
"Hmm, well with a few warts you could possibly just about pass off for one but I think black hair and clothes would also complete the look, and you could borrow one of Gandalf's pointy hats as well."  
  
Well the occupants of the flet each reacted to this outburst in different ways. Arwen who had not yet had the pleasure of meeting the unique man stifled a laugh at his reply, Legolas and Aragorn groaned simultaneously, they had known this was a bad idea from the start, Lord Celeborn looked decidedly indignant and Lady Galadriel, to the surprise of all them laughed at his words.  
  
"I think you will find Kaldur that if anyone added those features to their appearance they could pass of as a witch, even a hobbit from the shire. And now that you are here we must decide what is to be done with you, few are the mortals who have viewed the city of the golden woods, especially a bandit such as yourself.  
  
"Personally I'm all for letting me go" Kaldur said, and Legolas and Aragorn looked at each other in exasperation, a look that was becoming very common as their dealings with Kaldur continued, he had said that on their last journey with him and it hadnt really been successful. They were rather surprised therefore when Galadriel smiled and replied  
  
"I think that is what will happen eventually, but I would ask you to stay on until Legolas and Aragorn leave, they will take you with them when they go."  
  
Once more they groaned together at this statement and Legolas could distinctly be heard to be muttering something under his breath that sounded a lot like.  
  
"Why does Ilúvatar hate me, what did I do to deserve this." Kaldur smiled and clapped Legolas on the back at these words.  
  
"Well isn't that good news, we get to travel with each other after all"  
  
Next Aragorn and Legolas stepped forward and they each handed her an envelope saying.  
  
"These are letters from our fathers, it explains the situations in our realms and any action we need...to...take..."  
  
They trailed off as they heard laughter coming from behind them, turning round they saw Arwen trying very hard not to laugh and Kaldur standing next to her looking very innocent, to innocent.  
  
"Kaldur, what did you do?"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about mate, so any way, I was wondering what anyone had to do to get some food around here, I'm starving, I didn't really have enough time to pack much food before I followed you"  
  
Galadriel and Arwen both smiled at the man and Arwen said.  
  
"Of course, follow me and I'll see that you get something to eat." Legolas and Aragorn stared open mouthed as he followed her down the ladder, and Celeborn was looking at his wife in surprise.  
  
As Galadriel followed the pair down the tree Legolas muttered to Aragorn.  
  
"I'd keep an eye on Arwen if I was you Mellon Nin; it seems that Kaldur is quite popular with the ladies."  
  
Aragorn opened his mouth to protest then he took a look at the ground, which Kaldur had reached in record time, and took note of the fact that the bandit, Galadriel and Arwen were talking animatedly. Or rather Kaldur was talking and the two female elves were laughing. As Legolas listened to the conversation he was sure that he heard the words 'daring rescue' and 'four huge trolls' mentioned but he decided not to tell Aragorn. The growling he heard from behind him confirmed that point and he turned round to talk to his friend.  
  
To his surprise, Aragorn was just gnashing his teeth; the growling was coming from Celeborn. Laughing out loud, despite the glares that were laid on him he said.  
  
"Well instead of standing there gnashing your teeth, might I suggest going down there and trying to split them up, I'm sure there are plenty of other female elves in Lorien for Kaldur to regale with tales of heroics." Seeing the sense in the comment the elves and human left the platform and on reaching the floor went off in search of the thief.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ In a natural hall, sheltered by overhanging branches, the elves of Lorien and its visitors were all enjoying a meal. Well not all of them, half the male elves were glaring at one end of the table where Kaldur was sitting talking to around five of the she-elves. Every five minutes or so the laughter would erupt from that side of the room, and the glares would intensify. Aragorn especially was glaring, although Arwen was sitting next to him, she wasn't really paying much attention, she was listening to yet another exaggerated tale of Kaldur's and when Aragorn heard what he was saying, he rolled his eyes in annoyance.  
  
"So there we were on the barrow downs, fog was everywhere. I had already lost three of my men to the Wights and then Legolas and Strider here" Kaldur was saying, gesturing to the pair as he went. "Legolas and Strider got trapped in one as well, so, quick as a flash, I marked the barrow with my knife, and when some old man with a pointy hat came along I helped him get them out. Then I saved Elrohir, the son of Elrond, from some evil bandit that was trying to kill him. I pushed the bandit into a barrow and blew it up"  
  
"Isn't it funny" Legolas muttered to Aragorn "How he doesn't mention the fact that Elrohir needed saving because he was made deaf by there explosions, and he also failed to mention that he then almost killed both of the twins not long after."  
  
"It's very strange; do you think we should tell the other elves those stories?"  
  
"Normally I would suggest it, but look at Celeborn's face, he's going to explode soon and that's always fun to watch, as long as you're not on the receiving end." Sadly for them the meal ended without the eruption of the lord of the wood and disappointed the two of them left the hall.  
  
Deciding to give Aragorn and Arwen some time to talk to each other, Legolas wandered through the city, talking to his friends in the area, then he heard his voice and counting quickly to ten, he turned around to see Kaldur standing next to him.  
  
"So leggy...olas" he said, quickly changing at the last minute on catching sight of the elf's face. "Why isn't Arwen Aragorn's sister?"  
  
"Because, whereas Aragorn grew up with the twins and has always called them his brothers he only met Arwen a couple of years ago as she had been dwelling in these woods for the past century or so."  
  
"Oh I see, well why don't they get married or something"  
  
"Why am I telling you all this exactly Kaldur?"  
  
"Good question, give me a minute and I'll come up with something but in the meantime carry on explaining why their not married"  
  
"Basically, for Arwen to marry Strider, she would have to give up her immortality, Elrond has said that Aragorn can only marry her if he...I cant actually tell you anymore so if you want to know you'll have to ask Strider" Legolas managed to catch himself just in time to not reveal the fact that Aragorn was the future king of Gondor, and although Kaldur looked disappointed at not finding it out, he shrugged and walked off. //No doubt trying to find some other unsuspecting elf to annoy, I wonder if Lorien will ever be the same after Kaldur.\\ Legolas thought to himself, then he groaned out loud, this was going to be a long stay, he already wished it was over.  
  
(Well that's the end of chapter three, although I have a rough idea about what's going to happen next *snort* poor Celeborn *snort* I have temporary writers block, so it may be a bit of a wait till the next chapter. Namarie. Oh any pranks that Kaldur could play on any elves, please feel free to give me ideas.  
  
Purplefluffychainsaw: Ok Sam, after this chapter you can definitely beta read, what does beta mean, never managed to work it out, anywho I'm trying to work out how to get Kurt into the fic, I'm not having much luck yet though. Hannon lle Mellon nin) 


	4. Hes Back 4

(Hello again, at the moment it is two days till my birthday, Woohoo. By the time I have put this chapter up it won't be my birthday because I can't get to the library to update till Tuesday which is the day after my birthday, but I just thought that I would tell you that I will be fifteen by the time you read this Yay. Anyway here is the next chapter; I am warning you that it may be slightly weird because I am still coming down of a sugar rush. I was working at this Easter activity day with my friends, and I have given up sweets and chocolate for the year, and me and my friends were giving out Easter eggs to people. We were allowed to eat all the broken ones but as I wasn't allowed them I ate lots of sugar instead, at least twenty five packets, so I am quite hyper and have a slight headache due to too much sugar. Anyway here is chapter 5.)  
  
Legolas sighed happily. He was sitting in the top of one of the golden Mallorn trees, swaying slightly in the wind and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere that filled Laurelindórinan.  
  
Aragorn and Arwen still hadn't returned from their walk, but he wasn't worried, and he knew that when the pair got back they would most likely be bombarded by questions from the annoying edan that was currently staying in the wood.  
  
The prince sighed again, this time in annoyance, as his thoughts fell to Kaldur. He had never known a human that could annoy him as quickly as that man delighted in doing. He was normally resilient to insults and the like but all his barriers just seemed to fall down when he encountered the dark haired man, something that the bandit seemed to know all to well.  
  
As he was planning various ways of disposing of the human, and how to make it look like an accident, he heard a rather loud noise. A rather loud noise that sounded like an angry yell. A rather loud angry yell that sounded like it belonged to a certain silver haired elf lord. Legolas groaned loudly before climbing swiftly down the tree. He and Aragorn were the only two in the forest who had any idea of how to deal with Kaldur and as he didn't want to interrupt Aragorn he knew it would fall to him to sort out whatever mess Mr De Cahr had gotten himself into now.  
  
As the blonde haired elf reached the clearing from whence the yell had came, he had to try very hard to resist the urge to just turn back round again. There in the middle of the glade was a grinning, //no\\ Legolas thought to himself //make that smirking infuriatingly\\ human. And standing in front of him was Celeborn, the usually dignified Elf was sopping wet and extremely purple.  
  
"Kaldur" Legolas said tiredly "What did you do? And please don't make up any rubbish; I really am not in the mood alright?"  
  
"Well" the man replied, smirk never leaving his face, "I was up in that tree" he gestured to a nearby Mallorn "And I just happened to have a bucket of water with me. Then this elf" he gestured once more, in the direction of the Lord Celeborn this time "Walked underneath me. Unfortunately he walked under just at the exact time that I dropped my bucket."  
  
"I see" Legolas said through gritted teeth. He could also see that the silver haired elf's hands were twitching rather suspiciously and getting extremely close to Kaldur's neck.  
  
"Well my Lord" the prince said, bowing respectfully and putting all the diplomatic skills he had learnt as a prince to use, "I will take this annoying human away from you and allow you to dry up, I am very sorry, but dont worry, he will be gone at the end of the week." Legolas had enough sense to speak in elvish, he doubted very much that Kaldur would put up with being called an annoying human without arguing. The prince left the clearing, pulling a still grinning Kaldur behind him before Celeborn had any time to object.  
  
As soon as they were out of earshot of the other elves Legolas turned on Kaldur, eyes blazing.  
  
"Kaldur you idiot, do you have a death wish or something. Of all the elves to annoy you choose Celeborn, he has the worst temper and if you are not careful he will shot you. You are so stupid, do you never think before you do anything, are you incapable of doing anything sensible..." and so it went on.  
  
After about ten minutes of yelling at the human Legolas recognised a glazed over look that had settled on his face. It wasn't hard to recognise, it was the same look that he, Aragorn and the twins wore every time they got caught after playing a prank. Every time in that case. The prince stared intently at the bandit before saying loudly  
  
"Kaldur!" that snapped the human out of his trance and he stared at Legolas interestedly as if he had forgotten that the elf was there.  
  
"Have you been listening to a word I said?" Legolas asked tiredly.  
  
"Blanked out after the first minute mate" The bandit replied, gazing at the purple colour that Legolas had turned with interest.  
  
"Yes, I thought as much" Legolas turned and stalked angrily away, kicking each tree root that got in his path, then clutching one of his feet as he hopped the next few metres. This went on for quite a while until the elf was out of Kaldur's sight, by which time the man was rolling around the floor in hysterical laughter.  
  
//That was fun\\ he thought to himself //I wonder where Aragorn is, I've finally found a way to annoy him, might as well carry on practising it, I wouldn't want to lose my touch.\\ The man wandered off in the direction that Aragorn had disappeared in, making sure he avoided the clearing where Celeborn had had his 'accident' after all, the human rather liked being alive, contrary to popular belief.  
  
Legolas was so intent on kicking trees and cursing annoying humans that he did not notice Galadriel, until he walked into her.  
  
"Look out you idiot...Oh, I am very sorry my lady" Legolas bowed slightly, going a particularly bright shade of red as he realised that he had just called The Lady of the Wood an idiot.  
  
"That is quite all right Thranduilion, I take it from your liberal cursing that you have once more been infuriated by Kaldur."  
  
"You could say that, he managed to spill a bucket of water over the Lord Celeborn, and it was up to me to prevent your husband from strangling the human, something which his hands were just itching to do I can assure you."  
  
"Ah, I see, I will go and see if he is alright."  
  
"Oh I wouldn't worry, he was wet but other than that your husband was fine"  
  
"I wasn't talking about him, it was kaldur I was thinking about, my husband can be rather short tempered, as you found out when you stayed here last time"  
  
With that she walked off, leaving a very baffled prince in her wake. //that was strange, what is about Kaldur that females seem to like. It's rather worrying\\  
  
Legolas was still shaking his confusion when his aimless wanderings took him out of the gates and unwittingly into an impending danger.  
  
(Well would you say that that counts as a cliff-hanger, it's not a particularly bad one if it is, but it could be one) 


End file.
